Over-brunching, little red bumps, and paying it forward...

Hello All~

I have a few things to share about today.... In regards to my Salt/C protocol and Lyme journey, I had a little set-back with Mother's Day, in the form of Mother's Day brunch! We took my mom to a lovely restaurant up in Bellingham, and I made a conscious decision to eat a couple of things I normally wouldn't eat, including a piece of french toast (wheat/gluten), and a salad that seemed innocent enough, made of black beans and corn, but that had some type of light dressing mixed into it. I also had a mimosa (champagne & orange juice), knowing that the concentrated sugars would probably not make my body too happy. But sometimes you just make the choice knowing you will deal with the consequences...

So by Sunday evening I was feeling the familiar "lyme flare" sensation, where it feels like a weird energy is underneath the skin and vibrating in certain places which is, as I understand it, the bacteria going a little wild ("Hey look, here is some sugar to devour - Yeee Haaa!!). Of course I tried to counter it a bit with large doses of Salt and C, but these things take time, and so Sunday night and all day yesterday I was feeling pretty sore and moving slower than usual. I can always tell when I've overdone it, when it hurts to climb stairs. That all being said, we had a beautiful mother's day (it was a little hard since it was the first one without Ariana here, but she called twice and that was sweet), and I am feeling much better today (Tuesday), so life moves forward. Was it worth it? Sure. Am I going to do that again any time soon? NO!

Still pretty much doing 12 doses each day of both Salt and Vitamin C. That should be enough to drive any non-friendly bacteria crazy. And now I am noticing (actually for the past 10 days or so), that I have these little red bumps, very teeny, on my skin in certain places. They range from the size of a pin prick to the size of a pin head. They itch slightly but not too much. They seem to congregate at/near my joints (especially inside my elbows and near my wrists and around my shoulders), and also on my tummy. I am trying to decide if this is a reaction to something I'm taking (definately could be), or if this could be the bacteria looking for "ways out". I've read quite a few stories of people saying that the bacteria literally find ways to exit their bodies. So I'll ask Dr. R. about it and will also email the folks who developed the protocol, to see if I can get a sense of what these red dots are about. I really noticed them last night in the sauna, and wow, I had a seriously deep sweat (probably purging the Mother's Day indulgences...).

So now I want to move to a concept that I'm sure many of you are familiar with: Paying It Forward. A dear friend asked me if I'd find a way to weave this into the blog, and so this is my attempt to do that. She and I were on the phone last night and she was so excited about help her family had received from a very kind and generous stranger, after their boat broke down. She spoke of how grateful she felt, and how much it motivated and reminded her of the importance of helping others, without necessarily feeling one has to receive something in return. I shared with her that I really relate to that, and that one of the concepts I like to share (as well as practice) when working with others, especially children and teens, is the concept of "Pay It Forward."

I'm sure some of you have seen the movie "Pay It Forward" starring Helen Hunt, Kevin Spacey and that cute "I-see-dead-people" kid whose name I think may be Haley Joel Osment...? It's a true tear-jerker yet feel-good drama that highlights the beauty of doing for others, and how "big" the results can be when we intentionally "pay it forward", rather than asking for or expecting payment in return. The idea is to let them know that we hope they, also, will pay it forward when they can and help somebody else.

To me, this concept fits in perfectly with any discussion of healing, on whatever level(s). As I mentioned before, I feel that we create our own reality in a variety of ways and on different levels (mostly unconscious). We can also create our lives very consciously. I have been working with paying it forward for many years now, and I feel it has really opened me and helped me grow as a person. In my heart, I am always guided to share Reiki, or group work, or other services I may provide, with others, regardless of their ability to pay. Once I moved to Whidbey Island I really put the word out there that Reiki and other services are available to all. Of course, I deeply appreciate it when those who can afford to can pay cash, as I need to eat and pay the bills. I am also always amazed and delighted, too, with the variety of ways that people propose to make trades and barter arrangements. We (Erick and I) have received delicious fruit and veggies, gardening and landscaping services, incredible artwork, body care products, and more by being willing to accept whatever another person wants to share. I also do trades with many other bodycare workers - other Reiki practitioners, massage therapists, cranial sacral therapists and more....

And always, with those who don't have money or anything to trade, or with whom I sense that it would just be a nice thing to do right now, there is the option of paying it forward. Providing goods or services because it feels neighborly, friendly, good, "right". Sometimes I do that without saying anything more about it, viewing it more as a gift I wish to give while wishing that person well. Sometimes I consciously pay it forward by suggesting to people that they can help someone else when they have a chance, especially when they have asked me "How can I repay you?" Often, especially with young people who are learning about how to navigate life, I will suggest they pay it forward: help someone else sometime who needs it, when they are in a position to do so. It might be tomorrow, next week, next month or next decade.

I don't mean to make it sound like I'm the only one who operates this way - I know many folks who do. It's not that it's a revolutionary concept: it's just a simple one, and I am all about simplicity! I do think it tends to fly in the face of our "typical American" way of doing business, which is make as much as you can in any way that you can, and the one who dies with the most toys/money "wins".... That kind of thinking/practice are what has created the econonomic mess we're in now....

As with anything else in life, it's all about intention. The whole "pay it forward" philosophy works when we are willing to trust in the abundance of the universe, and that we will be taken care of. When we truly know this, then we can practice this type of generosity without fear. If we do it because we think we "should", then it may not work as well for us, as there isn't a pure energy flow that accompanies it. I truly believe and know, after so many years of working intimately with energy, that everything is about energy and going with the flow, as well as about intention driven by integrity. At least that's how it looks for me - that's how I "frame" it. When energy is restricted it can't flow, and fear (i.e. greed, hatred, jealousy, judgement, etc.) is the one thing that will really gum up the works....

Stated in a different way.... what goes around comes around.... sooner or later. It just does. If the intentions we put out are honorable, they will return to us in honorable and beautiful ways at times when we need that the most. And the more we are "doers of good deeds" the more that comes back to us. You can also call that the upside of karma, as well as the Golden Rule: Treat others as you yourself would like to be treated. I have always heard that espoused as a core religious value, yet I don't see so many people - especially those in positions of "power and authority" - embracing it. To me it just makes sense and is the only way we can ever hope to have any type of balance and harmony on good ol' planet Earth. Practice the Golden Rule, love your neighbor as yourself, do good deeds, pay it forward, go with the flow, all you need is love......simple concepts, yet deep.

So any time in life we're dealing with something "heavy" - be it death and loss, chronic illness, life-threatening conditions, financial disaster, or some other happening we might think of as "bad" or a "disaster" - I believe the more we can face it with a hopeful, honorable outlook, the farther along we'll be. That's not to say we will never get angry, discouraged, depressed, frustrated, or feel other emotions we might label as "negative." When we suppress these they just find other ways to show themselves. I fully believe in allowing ourselves to feel our feelings, whatever they may be, and express them in ways that don't hurt self or others, and then move forward as soon as we can with hope, faith, trust, love. Sometimes I literally give myself permission for a day or two to really feel pissy or angry or "down" about something. After I've wallowed in that for awhile I can work through it and be ready to let it go. It's much easier to rebound and move back into a positive slant on things. It also helps to surround ourselves with positive and supportive people, and that's what can be hardest, I think, for those in chronic pain or with health crises that last a very long time..... sometimes others don't understand.

I recently began facilitating a support group for women experiencing chronic pain. It's called "Chronic Wellness" (thanks again Rikki for that catchy title!), because even though we want a place to process through negative feelings and experiences, we don't want to forget that wellness and quality of life are our ultimate goals or at least hopes. I am so blessed that I'm feeling better all the time, because it enables me to have the energy to facilitate groups like this, as well as my women's spirituality group, and to do Reiki work to help others with healing and transformation. As I help others, I help myself.

I'm always tremendously inspired by other people's stories about how they have overcome difficulties in life to be stronger spiritually and emotionally, as well as physically. As a social worker in child welfare for over 20 years, I saw it all - every difficult, painful situation you can imagine - and yet I also saw so much resilience, so much healing, and so many people who made huge leaps in awareness about their lives and situations, so that they could lead happier and more productive lives. I could (and maybe someday will) write a book about the wonderments that I have experienced in child welfare, school-based social work and teaching, and also the five years I spent working with refugees from countries around the world. Talk about loss! Try losing many - maybe even all - of your loved ones (usually to cruel deaths), your home, even your country. If anyone has a reason to be depressed, it is someone in that type of situation, war-torn and battered. And yet the majority of these folks go on to live healthy, happy, productive lives, often because they are able to allow themselves to receive help and support for awhile until they can re-invent themselves and their lives. Their memories of those awful times where they have witnessed unconscionable things will never go away, yet the human spirit is just remarkably strong and resilient. Some will not make it and the sorrow and depression will overshadow their lives (in most cases understandably so, it has been just too much to bear), but many will go on to keep putting one foot in front of the other until things are better, and until they can find a reason to wake up with a smile on their face, at least half of the time.

That's what inspires me. And what makes life worth living - all of us in this together, helping one another, and allowing ourselves to be helped when we need it. It's very easy in this crazy and chaotic world to get caught up in the fear and the mania and the "spin" that is put on it by the media (one reason why Erick and I don't watch TV or read much of the news.... too much negativity). The more we can live with open minds and open hearts, the more we will thrive, I believe, in spite of what may be going on all around us that is challenging.

Thanks for taking the time to read all of this. Lauryn, thanks for the inspiration! Wishing you a beautiful and meaningful day,

Sukie