Passion

Greetings ~

Before I launch into the topic of "passion", an update is in order. Since I've been feeling SOOOO good for quite some time now, and because, apparently, I am a masochist at heart, I decided to pump up my Salt/C levels to see if a herx reaction would follow. I haven't had a serious herx in awhile....

Tonight I am stiff and sore! And that tells me something. My body has gotten used to the 8 Salt/C caps a day, and needs more than that (at least right now) to encourage a herx, which means focusing upon the downsizing of the bacterial load. I'm going to follow the lead of other Salt/C pioneers before me, and start "pulsing" a higher dosage for at least one week a month. I've come this far.... gotta stay the course.

Lately, the back of my neck has been fairly sore. Tonight it's REALLY sore. The rest of me hurts a little, but not so much. This also tells me that the remaining bacteria has moved into my neck area, which fits with the literature that says that the borrelia bacteria when on its way out of the system (which takes time) will often travel to the head. So it makes some kind of wicked sense to me...

I've had a few delightful weeks of very little pain, and I wish I could just go with that, but I knew it was time to tweak my dose to see if a herx would result, and it has. A lot of folks back off of the Salt/C protocol too soon, for a variety of reasons, including thinking they are healed because their pain is gone, or because they are in so much pain they feel they can't handle it, or they assume incorrectly that their lyme disease is getting worse. As I've explained in several other posts, one has to kill off the majority of the bacteria, which means the infamous Herxheimer reaction, so that the immune system can recover and take over the handling of any remaining bacteria.

So most importantly, what I've learned is that I am really making awesome progress with getting well: reducing the bacteria, strengthening the immune system, reducing my aspirin consumption, starting to overcome some of the food sensitivities, getting better sleep and rest, and so forth and so on.... I look forward to seeing Dr. R again in a couple of months for another functional blood analysis, to see how much progress can be seen. I predict the Earthing sheet is also helping with all this, and it will show, with evidence of healthier blood cells under the microscope.

I feel I'm close to coming full circle on this adventure, but not quite yet. One thing I've realized lately is that my passions and ideas are changing, or shall we say evolving. For so many years, my passion, among other things, was about social work and helping support and educate families where children had been abused and neglected, as well as working with teens in a variety of settings and programs. Those were amazing years and I have no regrets. I absolutely loved all the opportunities I was given to make a difference. A lot of wonderful, magical stuff happened, and I was able to do much in not only one-on-one, hands-on work with kids and adults, but also with program development and management of teams who made a tremendous difference in the lives of so many.

Moving here to Whidbey was a huge adjustment. Even though that adjustment was expected and embraced (at least most of the time), it has still been BIG. In retrospect, it took something like the crash of my immune system to get me to re-think my priorities and my health on all levels, and to adjust more for what I now want the future to look like. As I have meditated lately on what my passion(s) really is about now, I realize how far I have come with this transformative process I continue to undergo, as I open ever more deeply to the work of my soul. And my passion is delighting me. While I will always care about making the world a better place for children and people in general (through my work with the Whidbey Children's Theater, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, my Reiki practice, etc.), and while I will always love art, travel and all that jazz, I'm seeing and feeling that my passion right now is about the journey itself - what I've learned, and what I can impart to others in terms of inspiration, information, and enthusiasm for optimal health... mind, body and spirit.

While I'm not totally out of the woods yet with lyme disease, I can honestly say that I have transformed my health in ways I'd only dreamed of before. I finally broke the sugar addiction after many years of getting close to it. I watched 35 pounds come off as I traded "pretty OK" eating habits for "stellar" (mostly) eating habits. Not the easy way, mind you, since I literally HAD to clean up my eating, and since I was in so much pain a year ago I could barely move - but it was weight I had gained through stress and comfort eating (even as a vegetarian). I was so comfortable with stress and multi-tasking during my career days in California that I was just used to it and it seemed normal. I always balanced it with spiritual practice, travel and retreats, etc. Yet when I look back at photos from a year ago, I see someone so very exhausted and bloated, who was flat-lined energetically, emotionally, and physically. BOOM! Welcome to the results of years of burning the candle at both ends!

Today I look in the mirror and I see/feel revived energy, excitement, radiance (most days), and just a more healthful me, overall. Nothing is perfect, though. When you lose 35 pounds at the age of 54, your skin doesn't just snap back into place like it did when you were younger. If I had a magic wand I'd be waving it over my upper arms, my butt and thighs, and my neck. Yet there is also something to be said for aging gracefully (and fitting comfortably into size 6 jeans after years of tight 12 jeans).... and I feel "forever 21" in my heart and soul. I think we are at our most attractive when we are joyful and smiling, and that's when I feel my best, so I am really thankful that I feel that way 98.5% of the time. Those wrinkles around my smile and my eyes have been well earned with all the laughter and delights of life.

I was raised by two very positive, optimistic parents (my dad was calm, patient, unconditional and kind; my mom not quite as much, being more of a worry-wort...yet still she held a positive outlook and enjoyed her life). I'm not a worrier, and I do have a tremendous capacity for unconditional love, and so I give thanks every day for my amazing dad, as well as for my mom who always gave me someone to "push against" since we differed greatly in our politics. They say the people who push our buttons the most are our greatest teachers, so in that regard my mom was on top of her game (and at the age of 89, still is, although she's mellowed a lot, while I've become more patient).

All of the above being said, I am feeling the desire to write another book. Don't know when I'll start it or how I will frame the adventure of the healing journey, but my sense is that it's starting to bubble up and will soon make its presence known. One thing I do know is that I will pace myself better this time (my last book The Ways of Spirit: 30 Visionaries Share Philosophies, Paths & Practices, was largely written in the wee hours of the morning, yawn, as I was so driven to create it). This time, healthy eating, restful sleep, spiritual practice and just balance-in-general will take precedence. I don't think I need to feel driven anymore... those days are over. Passionate YES, but driven, no....

"Island time" helps a lot. Living someplace where people aren't fixated on profits at the expense of others helps, too (not to mention the 2-lane highway with only one traffic light in our little town, and tranquil water views at every turn). My friends and I all shop at the thrift stores because it's fun, and we love our "such-a-deal"s.... Here on the island it's just a way of life, as is not obsessing over the news and politics. Not that people don't care.... they just seek not to stress, knowing that doesn't solve anything.

It takes a lot to get me off this island for any length of time, unless it's for a truly awesome vacation. I'd rather be here embraced by nature and peace, and open up our home and healing space for others who want and need a time-out. We all need a fresh perspective and some R&R once in awhile...

So we'll see where this emerging, evolving passion leads.... I hope you'll take the journey with me and feel inspired to own your power and thrive. I have always felt like a pretty powerful person, but once I got kicked to the curb by lyme, I had to re-claim that power by not giving it away to the powers-that-be of the medical world, and by educating myself and making informed decisions in partnership with my healthcare providers. After a few months of being so debilitated that I hoped someone or something would "fix" it, I realized I had to rally up, follow my own guidance, and set parameters around what was best for me and my body.

I envision vitality and dynamic health for ALL of us, as well as meaningful work - however we each define that term - that we feel passionate about. For me, work is not necessarily about making scads of money, although that can be part of it. The older I get, the more work and play morph together in a desire to live each moment conscientiously,with gratitude, mindfulness, compassion, grace, and intention guided by integrity. Our passion is whatever makes our heart sing.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend. I'll be doing free mini-Reiki sessions tomorrow at Living Green in Langley from 11 am until 2-ish, so if you're on the island, stop by! I can't wait to try their new chef who lived in India and cooks healthy Indian fare (my favorite; Erick's too).


Namaste...

Sukie